same chicago trip, different day. but the content is so radically different that i felt like these words needed to be separated by more than just a line break or two. while everyone else was headed back to their respective homes, i was headed to la grange to reunite with the silver siblings. we got lunch and had ourselves a grand old time. it's so strange to me that i met nora a few short months ago, and ryan just a couple weeks ago. naturally, since nora gets paid to play band mom, we talked about we the living and it dawned on me i'd be missing the we cast if i drove the five hours home. so i said "what the hell" and decided to stay the rest of the evening. we went and saw youth in revolt, bought arrested development (what have i gotten myself into?) and waited for seven to roll around. shenanigans of course ensued and the broadcast was quite entertaining. i may have gotten myself into a small but highly entertaining mess and i'm surprised i didn't get an angry phone call post broadcast. [matt + geneveive = <#?] jokes my friends. only jokes.
so nora and i ended up just sitting around talking. about all of it. friends, highschool, college, bands, shows, and everything in between. it was a good two hours later when i realized it was ten and there was no way i was driving home. so we decided to get some dinner and probably sat there for another hour and talked. we then headed home, only to sit in the driveway for a good forty-five minutes and talk some more. and i tell you what, i think i've finally met someone who feels exactly the same way i do about we the living. [cue everyone's "ewww fangirl" thoughts] but really. i say it all the time, but there's just something about them that makes me happy to be around them. one hundred percent happy, and totally inspired. and not just about their music. about who they are as people, their outlook on life, how smart they are. i'll spare you from all the gushing, but we eventually ended up on the heavy topics of religion and philosophy and losing loved one's and economics, and in that car at that moment, i felt like everything in life made perfect sense. somebody else actually agreed with me on all of these topics and i couldn't believe it. it was as if i had suddenly figured It out. I'm not even sure what that means even, but it's like i had the answers to life and all of it's existential questions. eveything was so clear and i could suddenly see how stupid this country is, this economy is, how stupid we can act as human beings. the right things were so clear to me, and the wrong things were so blatantly obvious. i'm not really sure what happened to me that night, but something seriously clicked. i understand where my drive comes from, where my passion comes from. and i get why this band works. it's about knowledge and it's about work ethic. and it's about passion and making It happen. it's about keeping that fire within you going and making it work for you.
so this time, instead of coming home on my usual music/show/roadtrip high and eventually watching it fade away, this time it will be different. the clarity i have is here to stay and i am determined to make this work. i am determined, i am motivated, i want to learn and explore and find answers to everything that flits around in my brain. things are going to change and it's gonna be a good thing. watch out world, i've got clairty for once and i'm gonna use it.
"...but if It's there, you can feel it. I think It is the key to life and happiness; it separates the Few from a world of death and sadness. The Few who have It are people that Want something and who are willing to Fight for it. The Fight is it. The Means are the End. The Ends we think we're going for are made of dust."
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