i do know that i have opinions. and some of those opinions involve refusing to have an opinion on matters that don't concern me. i know that i am smart. i am a christian. and i am a libertarian. i would consider myself peaceful and open-minded. i am a romantic at heart. i think freud believed in a load of bullshit. and i have very strong opinions when it comes to music. and very strong opinions about my friends and their music. i will always put up a fight for them. because i believe in them. i believe in God, i believe in love, i believe in truth. and i believe we each have an identity that is to each our own, and that is so sacred.
the point is this. i may not have it all figured out. and i may never have it all figured out. but i am in the process, and i am learning. i am trying to establish my identity. i am trying to establish what i stand for, who i stand for, what i love, and who i love. and i am trying to find the answers. my sociology class this semester has taught me to constantly ask questions and never search for answers - "the knowledge stops when you answer questions, the conversation stops" is what my professor tried to drill in our minds. there is nothing wrong with asking questions. but i believe there are indeed answers out there. i KNOW there are answers. for each and every one of us. for me. and i intend to find them.
"how am i not myself?"
I'd say you're off to a pretty good start.
ReplyDeleteBefore the path to happiness can even start, one must learn to accept oneself. It seems so easy, but so few of us can look ourselves in the mirror and be proud.
The poem that reminds me so much of this is by Dale Winbrow. It reads...
When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Whose judgment upon you must pass.
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.