itunes top twenty five

a friend of mine wrote a blog not too long ago; he commented on the fact that you can tell a lot about someone by their top twenty five most-played songs in itunes. it really was fascinating, so i thought i'd do the same. [i also need to get my computer fixed; my playcounts may or may not survive... so here are the ones that matter in case i lose everything.] i'd like to make this a yearly thing to see how my tastes change, so let's hope the playcounts make it through the trip to the computer doctor.

1. untitled/fork and knife - brand new
2. millstone - brand new
3. should you return - copeland
4. tautou - brand new
5. jesus - brand new
6. sic transit gloria... glory fades - brand new
7. typical - we the living
8. skinny love - bon iver
9. saint paul - we the living
10. it's about time - barcelona
11. i will play my game beneath the spin light - brand new
12. sowing season - brand new
13. degausser - brand new
14. okay i believe you, but my tommy gun don't - brand new
15. sedated - mikky ekko
16. half the girl - we the living
17. re: stacks - bon iver
18. blood bank - bon inver
19. best laid plans - we the living
20. the day i lost my voice (the suitcase song) - copeland
21. guernica - brand new
22. limousine (ms rebridge) - brand new
23. the first single (cause a scene) - the format
24. london rain - we the living
25. heartbeats - jose gonzalez

i'll let the list speak for itself, but here are a few notes i'd like to make:

• the last time i listened to any of the numerous brand new songs up there, was in july. five months ago. i'm not sure what happened, but my obsession is finally slowing.
• untitled/fork and knife, the number one song, is actually just a single. it's not even on an album. it's really different from anything else brand new has ever put out, and i think that's precisely why it's number one.
• mikky ekko's sedated is at a lofty number fifteen. i learned of his existence a mere two months ago. whoa.
• the first time i heard the song heartbeats, was actually as a cover by william beckett on his acoustic tour last year. it made me cry, thus i had to find the real song.

as for my predictions about next year... who knows. i have a feeling brand new will eventually cycle out and copeland, manchester orchestra, the working title and barcelona will take over. but we shall see. i still have a bunch of money to spend on all new music.

please don't go - william fitzsimmons

there is something about this time of night. something about this song on repeat. something about it that reduces me to just the bareness of my soul and makes me so utterly calm, yet so broken down and torn up inside and exposed to everything in the world, all the hurt in the world, yet all of it's beauty - it's dizzying amount of beauty - all at once. it leaves me speechless. and it breaks me down to tears.

it makes me want to hop in my car and drive with the windows down so i can feel the wind rip through my hair, even though it's an icy twenty degrees outside. makes me want to call you right now just to talk about it, but it's four in the morning and i prefer the realm of my comfort zone. i want to know what THIS is. what is it, that gets into my heart and eats it alive, yet motivates it and moves it like this? it breaks my heart, but i think it heals it a little bit, all at the same time. it's happiness and complete loss and sadness at the same time. and i just don't understand how that's possible.

this was private. and i'm wrestling with making it public. raw thought without any edits. here we go, before i change my mind.

st. louis: cavashawn and eikon

another blog? and so soon?

"devon, we're tired of your fucking show reviews."

i can read your minds already. but it's just too bad; you'll have to get over it. because it's what i do. and i try my best to keep in mind that i should write for myself, not to please an audience. have patience; because every once in a while a heartfelt something-or-other makes it's way in here. but for now, here's a little diddy about some of my favorite chicagoans.

amanda and michele came in town for this show and i couldn't have been more excited. i was still riding out the wave of my nashville high, and another show was right around the corner. partayyyyy. these two girls are some of my favorites and i would consider us the original three muskateers of our little "music group" if you will. they showed up to my house at two so we sat around and talked for a while, eventually got some dinner and headed down to cicero's. one of the bands dropped off the bill last minute, so some singer-songwriter was added and played first. he was alright, but i don't really remember much of him. we were too busy catching up on gossip, since that's generally all that gets thrown around when cavashawn comes to town. [the latest being that cavashawn got asked by the academy is... to join their "almost here" anniversary show at the metro... how fucking rad is that?] they eventually played second to a good sized crowd. lots of regular fans, lots of psycho fan-girls, and lots of fans of the headlining band, eikon, who played next. man oh man. this is my third time seeing eikon, and every time they just get better and better. i'm terrible at it, but if i had to do some comparisons, i'd say they remind me of a mix of thom yorke [solo album, not exactly radiohead] and muse, maybe. i'm sad to say i have yet to really talk to any of them or introduce myself, but i do know they're originally from st. louis, and moved to nashville about a year ago. the first time i saw them they claimed it was their last show since two members were going away to college, but obviously they're back in action. i know i don't really have the authority to say who's a legit band and who's not... but these guys are the real deal, and i don't think they quite realize it. i've been to a lot of shows and i've seen my fair share of bands. and i just know - i get this feeling - when bands have really hit the mark. and these guys have that "something" about them that's caught my eye. their myspace doesn't do them much justice and neither do their recordings even [look em up on itunes and listen to 'careful hands steady hands'] but the live show... whole different story. i'm just patiently waiting for the years to pass and hear their name pop up again in some magazine or whatnot. i have faith that they can "make it", whatever that means in today's music world.

so anyways. enough about bands that i don't even know. we sat around for a while afterwards and we eventually all made our way to a steak n shake. i don't know what it is, but the combination of us girls plus four band boys received lots of stares that night. hilarity ensued, good food was had, and we eventually said our goodnights and goodbyes. love those boys. what a fantastic night. we headed home and crashed into bed. amanda and meesh headed home around ten or so the next morning and that was that. successful trip to cicero's. if only i could count exactly the number of shows i've seen there... it's a ridiculous one, that's for sure.

upcoming blogs: some sort of "looking back on 2009/resolutions for 2010" narrative, a list of my top 25 songs in itunes, a list of unsigned bands that will forever humble me, and a treaty of paris review after their cd release party on january 9th -- BAM.

nashville: we the living and mikky ekko

ohhh nashville. nashville crashville. as in crash on a couch cushion in the hallway sharing a pillow with some dude you met a few hours ago... but we'll get to that in a minute.

this is the show i'd been waiting for. this is the show that i made up a "dying aunt" for, so i could take my french final early and be able to go. the things i do for my friends and the music they make... it was my first time going to nashville; surprising, considering just how many shows i drive to. left around two, took my time, made a few stops and showed up at 12th and porter at a little before eight. and at the exact same time as nora, her brother ryan, and her friend olivia, which worked out perfectly considering i went alone. [what's new?] we meandered our way in only to find out that doors were at nine. so we [maybe?] crashed some family holiday party in the bar area until doors opened. the show didn't end up starting until close to ten. we the living played first with a full band! read: FIVE people! oh em gee! and they've never sounded better. it was probably the best i'd heard them, and they even played joy. oh happy day. there was a pretty full crowd too, so that was nice to see. sarah silva was next and DAMN does that girl have a voice. close your eyes and you'd think it's a fifty year old black woman; open them and you see a slinky little blond up there belting it out hardcore. so yeah, she kicked ass. up next was mikky ekko. holy saint that is mikky ekko. praise be to mikky ekko, the almighty master of the nashville scene... [too much? please, don't question it.] he was fantastic. best live show i've probably ever seen. he could have stood up there in a clown suit rapping in spanish and i would have been just as enthralled. i really can't even explain, it was just amazing and that's about all i can tell you. and for all his insanely crazy moves and weird stage presence... totally quiet and shy in person. very... out there. but wicked sweet.

i traded lots of hugs post show, met lots of new friends including tim, brian and molly and jp's girlfriend audrey, and talked with both sarah and mikky for a little bit. he definitely knew who i was because of facebook and twitter when i introduced myself... "it's mueller right? devon mueller?" *fangirl moment* [i was also introduced as @devonlynn earlier in the night... twitter is taking presedence over real names these days, didn't ya know?] so we [me, nora, olivia and ryan] eventually headed out and made our way to wethecastle, better known as wethefrathouse in my humble opinion. we got the obligatory tour, hung out for a good five minutes... then the beer arrived and before i knew it, was being peer pressured into a game called civil war. [some friends i have, huh? tsk tsk.] it's basically a free-for-all beer pong with more beer. so i played barely two rounds [thanks for chugging my leftovers matt] and was drunk within oh... maybe like a half hour? haha. ben and i then proceeded to polish off an entire bag of doritos. oh yeah. ridiculous shenanigans ensued until six in the morning... but i must protect the identities of the innocent as well as the not so innocent. we all ended up crashing for a few hours in the hallway. right in front of someones door. on couch cushions and band-van seats. yeah, it was great lemme tell ya. so i laid there for a few hours, got up and dragged myself into the kitchen. drank amazing coffee, said goodbyes to fantastic new friends, woke up lazy bum who was still passed out at two, and eventually was on my way back home. no idea how i survived that drive. whew.

so here i am. back to the harsh reality of real life which shouldn't even seem that harsh since i'm on break. but it does for some reason. those people, the combination of all of them together, just makes me so happy, so truly and honestly, one hundred and ten percent happy, that i don't know what to do with myself. i sound like a fucking cheeseball but it's true. plain and simple. i love my friends. my band friends, my band-related friends, my far-away friends, both new and old. and i love how randomly i have met each and every one of them.

*warm-fuzzies-but-wishing-i-were-still-in-nashville*

identity

i am not some definition you can look up or find in a dictionary. there are no synonyms of me either. i am not a cookie cutter person. there is no right or wrong answer about who i am. i am fluid; constantly changing and constantly figuring things out, discovering myself and becoming myself. tell me no and i'll do it out of spite. tell me you think you know who i am and i will immediately show you something different. the fact of the matter is, i can't define myself.

i do know that i have opinions. and some of those opinions involve refusing to have an opinion on matters that don't concern me. i know that i am smart. i am a christian. and i am a libertarian. i would consider myself peaceful and open-minded. i am a romantic at heart. i think freud believed in a load of bullshit. and i have very strong opinions when it comes to music. and very strong opinions about my friends and their music. i will always put up a fight for them. because i believe in them. i believe in God, i believe in love, i believe in truth. and i believe we each have an identity that is to each our own, and that is so sacred.

the point is this. i may not have it all figured out. and i may never have it all figured out. but i am in the process, and i am learning. i am trying to establish my identity. i am trying to establish what i stand for, who i stand for, what i love, and who i love. and i am trying to find the answers. my sociology class this semester has taught me to constantly ask questions and never search for answers - "the knowledge stops when you answer questions, the conversation stops" is what my professor tried to drill in our minds. there is nothing wrong with asking questions. but i believe there are indeed answers out there. i KNOW there are answers. for each and every one of us. for me. and i intend to find them.

"how am i not myself?"

lawrence: the noise fm

i've seen a lot of the noize boyz recently and it's been great. they're so down to earth and so polite and i just can't get enough of the sweet southern accents. they'd been peer pressuring me to come to one of their hometown shows for a while now and this was the perfect opportunity. nothing better than a holiday show on a saturday to round out the last week of the semester. mike and sonja made the drive over from chicago, those crazy cats. it was thursday night when mike texted me "hey we're driving through columbia right now and i thought of you". long story short, we ended up at cracker barrel! haha. it was so weird to see them in my neck of the woods; i'm always the one making the drive up to chicago. but anyways, we had dinner, chatted, said goodbyes, and that we'd all see each other again on saturday.

saturday rolled around and i made the two and a half hour drive west - not too bad and i'll admit, this was only my second time venturing any further west than columbia. first time in lawrence too! it's a cute little city and has a really small downtown area - reminded me a lot of the loop in st. louis. the boys were [like always] too kind and guest-listed me, and i got to the bottleneck right in time for doors. the stage was beautifully decorated with presents, trees, lights, balloons and everything holiday-related. the opening bands were nothing to write home about, but mike kept me company and the noise fm eventually played fourth out of five bands. it was great to see them amidst a legit crowd, and it was even more exciting to see them rocking out while wearing ugly christmas sweaters... i made it home by around three something in the morning.

so that was saturday. i took my one and only final on friday and turned in my one and only paper earlier today. and that was it. my semester is over and done with. today is monday [tuesday morning] and i am sitting at home in st. louis nice and comfy by the fire. thank god i got that french final rescheduled; it was originally supposed to be this thursday at five thirty in the evening... but i'm trekking down to nashville on thursday to see we the living, so that wasn't an option. solution? fabricate a "dying family member" that i must visit, and therefore get my final rescheduled for an earlier date. i'm so going to hell. but hopefully it'll be worth it. i'm looking forward to a relaxing few days at home, some fantastic times in nashville, then some quality time with amanda and michele this weekend who are coming in town for the cavashawn show. good times ahead, my friends.

st. louis: see the world and my lady four

see the world and my lady four so kindly decided to grace me with their presence again, and it was lovely. my school schedule has been dwindling down and i ended up not having any classes scheduled for tuesday, the day of the show. so i decided to drive home to st. louis monday night and hang out there for a day or so. it was nice not having to rush off right after class and try to make it in time for the show. i got to sleep in, accomplished some homework, ate dinner with my dad and eventually headed down to cicero's. jeremy, sam and i sat outside and caught up on life for quite a while and met building rome's booking agent. turns out they actually played with building rome the night before in lawrence. [and alex from the noise fm was at the show... small fucking world, right?] he couldn't get over just how many bands i knew and how "connected" i was. it just makes me laugh because i don't even attempt to make most of these things happen, a lot of it just does because of off-handed suggestions and the fact that i go to fifty million shows. but i love it.

my lady four was third on the line up so we headed inside the venue to see them play and there was a pretty good crowd. i feel like the majority was there for them and see the world, which is good. much better than the last time they played cicero's too, so that's progress and that's what makes me happy. see the world played after them and sounded really great. they've certainly improved since i'd seen them last at the end of september. and next time they're around they'll have a drummer as opposed to laptop tracks, so that's exciting. you know it's good when you get goosebumps and 'haunted' always gives me goosebumps.

i bought some cd's, watched everyone pack up, and eventually headed home with jeremy in tow and everyone else eventually following in the van. they were very happy to have a place to stay, but unfortunately about four of the six were highly allergic to cats. apparently there's some kind of strange psychology behind the people who offer bands a place to sleep... everyone started CRACKING UP when i said i had a cat. supposedly like 78 out of the 80 houses they've slept at on tour ALL had cats, or some ridiculous number like that. seriously though, what does that mean? we got home and i gave jeremy the obligatory basement tour and we had our traditional bowl of ice cream at two in the morning. good times, let me tell you. so i ended up never really going to bed... got up at six thirty, showered, ate and everyone was packed up and headed out the door by eight. two hours back to school for me, ten hours back to minneapolis for them. probably longer considering the terrible weather. but it was a great night [rough morning] and i very much enjoyed myself. i think i said the same thing in my previous post about the see the world, but it's still so strange to me how i've only seen jeremy like three times before and sam once, and yet i feel like i've known them forever. and my lady four is such a sweet [and hilarious] group of guys; the thank you's and appreciation was never ending. it's a fact. i love band boys.

so now i'm back at school. i survived my last day of classes [and a final] on zero sleep. i have done essentially nothing today since we didn't have classes. tomorrow i will take my french final. saturday i will go to lawrence to see the noise fm's holiday show. sunday will be dedicated to finishing my last paper. and monday i will turn in said paper and head home for christmas break. i can't believe this semester is over already. and i can't believe i'm getting close to being halfway done with college. fuck.

columbia and st. louis: the noise fm

night one - what better way to end a stressful week than with a show involving some of your favorite people [with the cutest accents ever]? nothing comes to mind. the noise fm rolled into columbia thursday night and put on a great show. most of the line-up was really great in fact, aside from the headliner. [aren't headliners supposed to be the good band of the night? ...i thought so too.] we are voices played first. i've seen them a couple times before and they're really great. finally got a chance to introduce myself too; lucas gave me a free cd and shirt which was rad. rocketboys, from somewhere in texas played next, then giant radio, the noise fm, and finally moonrunner. moonrunner was kind of a shit show but whatever. the first four bands made up for it. also really glad there was a real crowd this time; last time the noise fm played columbia i was one of maybe five people in attendance... haha. yeah progress!

i went home and did some homework while the guys worked out the money situation, and they somehow ended up at a rave in an abandoned meat packing plant... [don't ask, i haven't a clue.] well it was pretty sketch i assume and they showed up a while later and passed out in my living room. and left a sweet little note in the morning about loving my apartment but it needing some cats. good times. we said our goodbyes and i promised to see them yet again in under twelve hours. i went to class, they went to the city museum.

night two - decided last minute to pack a bag with the thought of actually staying the night in st. louis, and headed east around five. dropped by the house, snuggled my kitty, and headed down to the firebird. i was a little worried at first because the venue was pretty empty, but it was the headliner's farewell show so it filled up soon enough. first band was "eh", and the noise fm played second. they blew everyone else of the night out of the water. i feel like they've had a lot of shitty luck when it comes to st. louis shows - one thing or another seems to not work out too well - but this time there was a decent [and old] crowd and they were really receptive. lots of toes tapping and heads bobbing. i feel like they're finally making some progress which makes me happy. they're too good to go unnoticed. i left pretty soon after the show; hunger and exhaustion were pulling me home, but overall it was a great two days. i'm looking forward to their hometown show next weekend in lawrence. rumor has it some crazy chicagoans are making their way down. it should be a good time.